Vision Quest

I should begin by explaining that I am not a person for whom things happen easily. My friend, Lindsay, once told me (either the 2nd or 3rd time I was rear-ended within a year) that I was the only person she knew who she would approve of getting a Hummer. Accidents and difficulty seem to find me.

Seven years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and I have recently come to realize that I also have chronic fatigue syndrome. What this means is basically that I am tired every day, like other people are when they only get 3 or 4 hours of sleep. I also have lots of weird pains in my body, especially my lower back, neck, and head. I have a terrible memory unless I've heard or read something many times over, though for some reason birthdays tend to stick with me forever. I have far too many things I want to do in my life and not enough energy to commit to them. One of my passions is writing poetry, and I think this works for me primarily because it is well suited to short bursts of energy. Though I could never write an epic poem.

All of this is background to explain the appeal of things that work well and can suit all of my needs and desires in one little package. I do an insane amount of research into everything I intend to buy or acquire in the hopes that the energy I put into finding something will pay off by me not having to deal with it again. Whether it's a book bag, mascara, a tattoo, or a tea kettle, my approach is always the same. Even when it looks as if I've made a ridiculously rash decision, I could have been mulling it over for years. Let's start with tattoos. I have been thinking about it since I turned 18, and I am almost 29. Over the years, I've considered many different ones, and over the years, they've changed slightly. The first tattoo I ever wanted was a Chinese dragon, similar to this one, but I'd prefer it a bit more simple and horizontal.

The next tattoo that I thought of was a phoenix. I have always been fascinated by this mythical creature, reborn in its own destruction. I'm not sure if you're noticing a pattern, but I really love those mythical creatures. I feel a little silly saying this (and may deny it later) but the main reason I played Final Fantasy with my brother many years ago was because I loved using the summons to bring these gorgeous creatures on the screen.

The third design would be a koi. Besides just thinking that they're really cool, I am particularly attached to them because of one of my favorite childhood fairy tales. When I was a kid, I was enamored with this collection of fairy tales from all around the world. The Chinese fairy tales were my favorite. In them was the oldest Cinderella story. A girl named Yeh-Shen was left to the care of her stepmother. She befriends a beautiful fish and when the stepmother learns of this friendship, she kills the fish and cooks him for dinner. Yeh-Shen is devastated but soon learns from a spirit that the bones of her beloved fish will give her whatever her heart desires, so she buries them to keep them safe until she needs them. The end of the story is not so much what captivates me, as it is much the same as our Cinderella. Yeh-Shen asks the bones for clothes to go to a ball, and she soon has a beautiful robe and golden slippers, woven in a scale-like pattern. She goes to the ball and eventually marries a king, while the stepmother is punished for her misdeeds.

My most recent tattoo option was actually put in my head by Elle, my sister-in-law. I have been rather obsessed with owls of late (I am now proud owner of an owl bird feeder and an owl to-do notepad) and she told me she had thought about getting an owl tattoo. I've done loads of online research trying to find the perfect owl tattoo, and haven't come up with exactly what I want. I'd like an owl that is cute but not disgustingly cute, but also not stunned or aggressive looking. It seems like that wouldn't be too hard to find, but alas.

I had planned to get a tattoo for my 29th birthday (in three weeks) but have come to realize that being unemployed and soon out of a place to live is not a good time to spend money on something which is not a legitimate need. The plus to this is that I have a bit more time not only to figure out which tattoo I really want (the Chinese dragon is definitely out) but also to find a tattoo artist whom I trust to give me my perfect tattoo. But that's a whole other search, I suppose.