Neighborly

When I was growing up, our closest neighbors were about half a mile away. To hang out with friends, we'd drive from one side of our sparsely populated neighborhood to the other. The rest of the time I spent either reading one of several library books I checked out each week or playing Nintendo and digging in the dirt with my younger brother. In college, I moved into a condo about 8 blocks from campus. One of my neighbors, Toni, often hung out on her stoop playing guitar and singing. Friends always commented that our little complex was like Melrose Place, shaped like a squared horseshoe with two levels, surrounding a pool. Toni was one of the friendliest people you could ever meet. Even so, it took many months before I was comfortable talking to her. I am not a naturally gregarious person, but if I meet someone at a party, I usually do all right. But for some reason, I just don't know how to act with neighbors. My first instinct is to run inside and not engage or bother them. It is certainly not to ask if they want to come over and have a beer.

Just before I started this post, my neighbor's door opened and I heard this gorgeous music coming from inside. I saw him walk outside in his red hoodie and check his mail, then come back inside, closing out the voice singing about Sunday on this Sunday afternoon. And I realized that I have been here now an entire year. And the only time I have seen my neighbor face to face is when he was coming in with his girlfriend when the pizza guy arrived for me and Tyson. He must think that I am a total recluse. Earlier today I read this post, and though I don't agree with all of it, it socked me in the guts a little:

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.

I think this year, one of my goals is to try to be a little friendlier with the people who are almost strangers. Strangers I have no problem with, but the one's who are closer in proximity to where I lay my head at night...they're the ones I shy away from. Even when I know that some of my most amazing friends are the people who were nearby that refused to accept my reclusiveness.