Closer
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
I think the word that best describes 2010 for me is "closer." For me, this year was about getting just a little bit closer to what I want for my life: where I want to be, who I want to be with, and what I want to be doing. I made it into a fantastic MFA program for Creative Writing, which was the next step I needed in my quest to become a teacher. I love what I'm doing and I'm learning so much more than I ever thought possible. Working on my poetry consistently, revising, creating anew, finishing ideas for poems I had years ago: it's all so satisfying, and has proven to me that contentment is within reach.
I met someone and we were together through the summer. He helped me move to Nashville and things were great until the LDR took hold. But having that relationship with someone who had every quality that had been on my ideal list made me see what a good relationship could be like and showed me that there are men out there who can treat women well. It also showed me that there is something critically important to me that I didn't have on that list: someone who can give me space and time for myself and trust that this space won't come between us. Additionally, I learned that something I'd always prided myself on (coming into relationships at ground zero and not holding new men accountable for the mistakes of guys in my past) isn't accurate anymore. Now I know that my relationship with Tyson actually penetrated into the way I see myself and how I interpret men's actions. And that's something I'm working on.
I would like 2011 to be defined by the word "do." 2009 and 2010 were largely about setting myself up for what comes next. Now I'm in the midst of it, but always aware that in 2012, I will have to find a way to sustain myself and a place to do the work (and teaching) that matters to me. In order to get there, I need to accomplish a lot in the next year: find people or organizations to work with, send out my work and try to get published. And as always, I'd like to get a better grip on my FMS and CFIDS so I can have the energy to do these things. It's all about progress.
I met someone and we were together through the summer. He helped me move to Nashville and things were great until the LDR took hold. But having that relationship with someone who had every quality that had been on my ideal list made me see what a good relationship could be like and showed me that there are men out there who can treat women well. It also showed me that there is something critically important to me that I didn't have on that list: someone who can give me space and time for myself and trust that this space won't come between us. Additionally, I learned that something I'd always prided myself on (coming into relationships at ground zero and not holding new men accountable for the mistakes of guys in my past) isn't accurate anymore. Now I know that my relationship with Tyson actually penetrated into the way I see myself and how I interpret men's actions. And that's something I'm working on.
I would like 2011 to be defined by the word "do." 2009 and 2010 were largely about setting myself up for what comes next. Now I'm in the midst of it, but always aware that in 2012, I will have to find a way to sustain myself and a place to do the work (and teaching) that matters to me. In order to get there, I need to accomplish a lot in the next year: find people or organizations to work with, send out my work and try to get published. And as always, I'd like to get a better grip on my FMS and CFIDS so I can have the energy to do these things. It's all about progress.