Zeroes

The knowledge comes fast and unwelcome. In a week where you are wanting more than anything to solidify friendships and relax, you let your guard down. You answer the phone one day when he calls and feel the sand tilt away from the word ally. You hear him fishing for affirmation, but you steer away and push the feeling of unease down.

There is an edge you sense, and it is the same as that night in Austin when a guy got upset that you turned him down and told him you were only there to hang out with your friends. Girls don't go out all together like this unless they want to meet men. He was aggressive, and you gave him your phone number only to get rid of him, and because you were too stunned to lie.

So when the phone rings a second time, a third, fourth--you go cold. You realize that the good-natured teasing you view as harmless can be taken like a promise. Can be taken. You bring your local ally count back down. But you're still not zeroed out.